New Element Discoverd; Managerium

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet know to science.  This new element has been tentatively named “Managerium”.  Managerium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.  Since Managerium has no electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.  A minute amount of Managerium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Managerium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.  In fact, Managerium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

The characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Managerium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.  This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”.

You will know it when you see it.*

*I found this a few days ago whilst tidying up my computer. A friend sent it to me several years ago… Some things never change ;-)

10 Comments CherryPie on Mar 17th 2014

10 Responses to “New Element Discovered: Managerium”

  1. james higham says:

    Someone on your case at work, Cherie? :)

  2. rusty duck says:

    Don’t remind me!

  3. ....peter:) says:

    that is exactly why we moved to the our lake in the country when we retired Cherie… fewer morons :-)
    it was a fun read!
    ….peter:)

  4. ubermouth says:

    Very clever. Laughed @ isodopes. :)

  5. Mark in Mayenne says:

    Not seen that one before -nice!